Dogs have a knack for bringing people together. A quick hello on a morning walk, a chat at the park or a conversation about a particularly waggy tail can turn complete strangers into familiar faces, and, sometimes, genuine friends.
Research suggests that dogs can make it easier for us to approach one another, give strangers an instant shared interest and create routines that bring the same people together again and again.
Dogs can change our social lives.
Dogs are natural social icebreakers
Think about the difference between walking past somebody on their own and walking past somebody with a dog.
Without the dog, you might smile politely and keep going. Add a four-legged friend and suddenly there are plenty of perfectly natural reasons to stop: What breed are they? How old are they? What’s their name? Can I say hello?
The dog gives both people something to focus on, taking some of the pressure out of starting a conversation with a stranger.
And plenty of dog owners seem to experience exactly that. One UK survey of 1,265 dog owners found that 79% were more likely to talk to new people when they were with their dog than without them. Another poll of 2,000 dog owners found that almost half had made friends while walking their dog or attending puppy training classes, meeting an average of four new people through their pooch.
The effect may be particularly helpful for people who ordinarily find speaking to strangers uncomfortable. In different surveys, 54% and 59% of dog owners said having a dog had helped them feel more confident talking to people they didn’t know.
Why do dogs make it easier to connect?
Dogs give us common ground. Two strangers might know almost nothing about one another, but discovering that they both love dogs immediately gives them something in common. Instead of searching for something to say, there’s already a conversation waiting to happen.
Researchers sometimes describe dogs as “social lubricants” because their presence can make interactions between people easier.
Dogs can also help break through what researchers call “civil inattention”. That is, the tendency to politely acknowledge strangers in public without actually engaging with them. A dog gives us a socially acceptable reason to cross that invisible barrier and say hello.
When moving to a new town or city, for example, regular dog walks and visits to parks create opportunities to meet people that might otherwise be difficult to find.
Dogs may make strangers seem more approachable
There may also be something about simply being seen with a dog that changes how other people perceive us.
Research has found that people pictured with dogs can be viewed as more approachable, relaxed and friendly than people pictured without them. The presence of a dog has also been associated with greater perceptions of trustworthiness and harmlessness.
One explanation is a kind of “halo effect”. The warmth and positive feelings somebody has towards a friendly dog can influence how they view the person beside them. A dog can also signal qualities such as responsibility and care. Looking after another living being may lead people to perceive somebody as more dependable or trustworthy.
There’s a physiological side to human-dog relationships too. Positive interactions with dogs have been associated with changes in hormones including oxytocin, alongside reductions in stress. That calmer state could help make human interaction feel a little easier.
From a quick hello to a real friendship
A single conversation is lovely, but the really interesting part happens when those little interactions start repeating.
Dogs create routines. Walk at roughly the same time each morning and you may start seeing the same spaniel by the park gates. Take the same evening route and you might keep bumping into the Labrador from three streets away. At first there’s a smile, then a hello. Eventually you know the dog’s name, their human’s name and what they’ve been up to that week.
Research suggests this repeated contact is an important part of the way dogs help create stronger social ties. Dog owners who regularly walk their dogs are more likely to get to know people through their pets than owners who don’t.
These relationships can extend beyond casual park conversations too. Research into pets and social connection has found that pet owners can develop friendships and sources of practical or emotional support through the people they meet because of their animals.
In this way, dogs can contribute to what researchers call social capital: the relationships, trust and sense of community that connect people within a neighbourhood.
Dog sharing can create another route to connection
You don’t have to own a dog to experience the social side of having one in your life.
Dog borrowing can bring together people who might otherwise never have met: an owner who would appreciate an extra helping paw and a local dog lover who would love to spend time with a dog.Over time, that can create a little network around the dog, with relationships developing between dogs, owners and borrowers.
June joined BorrowMyDoggy after losing her Cocker Spaniel and deciding she wasn’t in a position to have another dog of her own. She began borrowing Charlie and found much more than a walking buddy.
“I’ve now got Charlie as a little friend. For me, BorrowMyDoggy is having a dog part-time so I’ve got company, and it makes me go for longer walks than I would normally go for.”
Her friendship with Charlie’s owner, Marion, grew too. They have been to the ballet and enjoyed lunch together, with June describing herself as something of an “honorary granny” to Marion.
The important part is that the relationship works for everyone, especially the dog. BorrowMyDoggy encourages owners and borrowers to get to know one another properly before any borrowing takes place, building familiarity and trust rather than rushing into an arrangement.
And just like any friendship, finding the right connection can take time. Not everybody will reply and not every match will be right, but thoughtful conversations and getting to know one another can help create relationships that are mutually beneficial.
A little more connection, one walk at a time
Dogs probably aren’t deliberately planning our social calendars. Yet simply by needing walks, attracting conversation and giving dog lovers something wonderful in common, they create countless opportunities for people to connect.
Some encounters will remain a cheerful hello across the park. Others might become walking buddies, neighbours you can rely on or friendships that last for years.
And sometimes, as members of the BorrowMyDoggy community have discovered, sharing the love of one very special dog can bring people into your life who you might never otherwise have met.
For borrower Felicity, borrowing Miniature Dachshund Minnie also led to a lasting friendship with her owners. After two years of borrowing Minnie, the relationship had become such a big part of their lives that Minnie was invited to Felicity’s wedding as her “sausage of honour”.
“She has become such a big part of our lives and her owners have become true friends.”
These relationships show something particularly lovely about dog sharing: the connection might start with a dog, but it doesn’t necessarily end there.
That’s quite a lot to come from asking, “What’s their name?”
