I love dogs.
Their quirks, their fluffy little heads, the uncomplicated joy they bring to a room…
But I don’t own one.
As an autistic adult, I struggle with sensory overwhelm. I need a lot of downtime. My energy levels aren’t predictable. Being 100% responsible for another living being, every day, alongside managing my own needs, feels too much.
And I’ve learnt to listen to that.
BorrowMyDoggy gives me the benefits of having a furry friend - the cuddles, the walks, the companionship, the structure - without the full-time pressure of dog ownership.
Pets and wellbeing: more than just cute
There’s plenty of research about how dogs support mental health and wellbeing. Lower stress levels, increased physical activity, and reduced loneliness.
Those things benefit everyone’s mental and physical health. But, as someone who is frequently made anxious and dysregulated by what are - to most people - trivial aspects of day-to-day life, those things are a lifeline.
Dogs regulate me. If I’m overwhelmed, sitting on the floor and petting a dog is like a hack to calm my nervous system. Going outside to walk - on a day when I’d otherwise never make it out alone - can completely transform my mood.
Dogs are basically portable therapy.
Dogs and transitions
One time I felt BorrowMyDoggy’s impact most clearly was when I moved house.
Moving is a huge transition. Unfamiliar sounds, smells, places, routines. All very fast routes to a meltdown.
Borrowing a dog helped me explore in a structured way. Instead of aimlessly trying to “get used to” a new area, I had a purpose. We had a route. We had a mission. We had squirrels to monitor!
It added something familiar and joyful to a period that can otherwise be completely destabilising.
Meg the sheepdog helped me with this a LOT. She is an absolute joy to walk. I walk around with a grin on my face when I’m spending time with her. I feel infinitely more comfortable and confident walking along with Meg than I do on my own.
Early on I’d found some paths around a nearby walking spot, and tended to stick to a few I knew. Meg isn’t bothered by all that. If there is a good stick on another route, she is having it! So, I follow her. She has shown me new paths that are now part of my solo walks as well. Made even better when I spot a stick that she left behind last time!
The social side (without the social pressure)
Socialising is draining for me. Even when I enjoy it.
An unexpected gift of BorrowMyDoggy is the human connections I’ve made along the way. When you meet someone through the platform, you already have something important in common: you both love their dog. There’s always something to talk about — what treats they like, their weird habits, what cute thing they did on the last walk.
It’s very different from meeting someone “cold”, where the entire interaction rests on maintaining small talk. Here, the dog is the bridge.
Over time, several of those dog connections have turned into great (human!) friendships.
I met one of my closest friends, Beata, through borrowing her gorgeous Toller, Wellie. We discovered we lived virtually next door, and I looked after Wellie regularly. It naturally evolved into a friendship. We started to take Wellie out together, and put the world to rights while we walked!
As an autistic adult, this has been so vital. Making friends can feel complicated and high-stakes. BorrowMyDoggy made it feel natural.
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BorrowMyDoggy has given me the joy of dogs, the calm they bring, and friendships I never expected — all in a way that works with my autistic brain, rather than against it.
Lauren x
If you’d like more pawsome practical tips and real-world reflections, written by and for autistic adults, visit Colour me autistic.
